The Stuck Stops Here
I am on a healing journey, breaking cycles of toxic family patterns of mental, verbal, and emotional abuse that have plagued my family for generations. My children deserved better than what I got so I embarked on a path of healing, addressing the internal pain caused by the rage, fear, guilt, shame, rejection, manipulation, and neglect that I was raised with. This quest for authenticity and peace is an endless journey of discovery and recovery with no finish line. I hope my story, truth, humor and mistakes inspire others and that is why I am sharing my story.
Tammy Sue
Episodes
66 episodes
TSSH 66 - Karma Delivers and it Sucks
When narcissistic parents starts ageing, people eventually see through the false charm and see the person for who they really are. Their behavior tends to get worse with the passage of time. As time takes its toll on their looks and...
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Episode 66
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11:15
TSSH 65 - Bigger! Better! Faster! More! Now!
All-or-nothing thinking is a a cognitive distortion. Cognitive meaning the way you understand, think, and perceive. And Distortion meaning misleading or irrational. All-or-nothing thinking and fear of failure paved a perfect path to perfe...
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Episode 65
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11:45
TSSH 64 - Now You See Me. Now You Don't.
Object Constancy is a cognitive skill we acquire at around 2 years old and is defined as the ability to maintain an emotional bond with others, even where there is distance and conflict. In adulthood, Object Constancy allows us to trust t...
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Episode 64
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12:26
TSSH 63 - Be Silent and Obey the System 🤫
Toxic family rules live at the center of a dysfunctional family system and are designed to keep secrets hidden, enable abuse, keep children in line and avoid responsibility while also preventing safety, growth and connection. Toxic family...
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Episode 63
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12:57
TSSH 62 - 3 Miserable Musts and 8 Destructive Beliefs (Dr. Albert Ellis)
Albert Ellis, who is considered the 2nd most influential psychotherapist in history died in 2007 and believed psychological problems are due to pervasive patterns of irrational thought. It is not events that create emotional states, but t...
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Episode 62
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11:31
TSSH 61 - Codependency Defined-Redefined-Explained-Renamed
“Something happened to us a long time ago. It happened more than once. It hurt us. We protected ourselves the only way we knew how. We are still protecting ourselves. It isn’t working anymore.” ― John C. Friel,
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Episode 61
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13:07
TSSH 60 - You Stay There. I Will Go Here.
Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. It means verbalizing what impacts your comfort levels. It means learning how and when to say "no." When we set boundaries, we’re less angry and resentful because our needs are getting met and our ...
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Episode 60
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9:25
TSSH 59 - 10 painfully good things and 10 uncomfortable great things
The healing journey was and is not easy for me. It is a continuous and rigorous cycle of aha moments followed by grief followed by acceptance. If your parents were narcissistic, controlling, smothering, unavailable, overly cri...
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Episode 59
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10:52
TSSH 58 - I'm Back. Less Bitter. Better.
In March of 2021, my youngest daughter and her teammates experienced horrific emotional abuse from the coach of a Division 1 collegiate athletic team. It was a sickening combination of narcissism, toxic leadership, and verbal abuse and I ...
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Episode 58
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9:40
TSSH 57 - Seeing the light with Gina Defa🕯️
Coming from a home filled with alcoholism and abuse, Gina knows the grit & grace it takes to not just survive, but to move into a life filled with peace. She trusts that her immediate instinct to follow her intuition (which she calls her li...
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Season 5
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Episode 4
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34:27
TSSH 56 - Psychological resilience with Dr. Lise Deguire ❤️🩹
"I am four years old in that photo, half-naked and burned all over. I am propped up into a sitting position. My hair, which had been honey blonde and bouncy with waves, sprawls in a dark, stringy mess. My chest is completely covered with tight,...
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Season 5
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Episode 3
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38:14
TSSH 55 - Healing the physical effects from parental emotional abuse with Special Guest - Vera Wilhelmsen🤒
Vera Wilhelmsen was once ill with "incurable" chronic illness as a result from narcissistic abuse from her parents and grandparents. She fought her way out on her own, realized the root causes, cut contact with her entire family and all tox...
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Season 5
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Episode 2
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43:36
TSSH 54 - STEPpin' It Up - A Surprising Reconciliation 🔑🔓
There is significant truth behind the statement "everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about". A conversation with my stepsister reveals how toxic parenting, favoritism, manipulation and emotional immaturity can fracture family t...
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Season 5
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Episode 1
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1:06:58
TSSH 53 - Creating space for The Conversation with Colleen Perry 🔊👂
"It is my goal to help other who grew up in homes with Alcoholics. I tell my story in hopes of bringing awareness to Alcoholism. I want to help other children of alcoholics, find community, develop their voices and heal. My work is dedicated to...
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Season 4
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Episode 10
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32:14
TSSH 52 - Counter-dependency (Radical Self Reliance)🤐🤫
Codependency, the habit of gaining your self worth from pleasing others, is something most people know of nowadays. But it’s lesser known opposite, called counterdependency, can be just as much of a problem and is often related to codependency....
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Season 4
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Episode 9
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14:22
TSSH 51 - A Poem and an Unsent Letter🖊️✍️
On my healing journey, I wrote (but never sent) a letter to my toxic parents. Journal therapy originated in the 1960s with psychologist Dr. Ira Progoff's Intensive Journal method. With his developments, the therapeutic potential of journa...
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Season 4
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Episode 8
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14:26
TSSH 50 - Subtle Abuse With Not So Subtle Results 🔨🧰
Emotional abuse is a way to control another person by using emotions to criticize, embarrass, shame, blame, or otherwise manipulate another person. In general, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a consistent pattern of abusive ...
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Season 4
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Episode 7
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33:45
TSSH 49 - Guilt and Shame are NOT the Same 😲
Shame is often referred to as “the toxic cousin of guilt. Guilt says “I’ve done something bad”. Shame says “I am bad”. Shame may show up in some of these ways: feeling inferior, defective, flawed, worthless, phony, and unlovable. Fo...
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Season 4
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Episode 6
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34:56
TSSH 48 - Pain of Thrones, Comparisons, Pedestals and Death of Joy. < >
Comparing ourselves to others allows them to drive our behavior. I often worked too hard to determine what others expected so I can make sure I fit in. I was constantly feeling less than, wanting to be greater than – leading t...
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Season 4
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Episode 5
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32:30
TSSH 47 - Passion For Or Addiction To ???? 🤷♀️🧠
When parents emotionally ignore children, they feel invisible, invalidated, worthless, and disconnected from their true self. Parents with unhealed emotional wounds are unable to authentically connect with their children and this lack of ...
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Season 4
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Episode 4
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31:42
TSSH 46 - Little Bent Not Broken 💔 Featured Guest: Marisa
Marisa shares her story of surviving and healing from childhood emotional, mental, and physical abuse through Instagram (@littlebent_notbroken) to help others in a similar situation or with a similar background feel seen and heard, and to valid...
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Season 4
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Episode 3
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39:51
TSSH 45 - Musical Affirmation and Lyrical Validation 🎹🎭
The problem with negative thoughts is that they can become self-fulfilling prophecies. We talk ourselves into believing that we're not good enough. And, as a result, these thoughts drag down our personal lives, our relationships, and our career...
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Season 4
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Episode 2
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49:51
TSSH 44 - Hail to the Gail - Founder of The Buttrfly Effect 🦋
Gail Ferguson Jones is an award-winning journalist, speaker, podcaster and family recovery coach. She is a recovering codependent who survived the trauma and chaos of three generations of alcoholism in her family: maternal grandmother, fathe...
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Season 4
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Episode 1
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28:38
TSSH 43 - 1 single revelation every BIG STEP she takes 🎩👢
Toxic Family DynamicsSplitting: Planting seeds where jealousy resentment, and anger will flourish.Pitting: Setting family members against each other, usually through dishonesty.Smear Campaigns: Premediated e...
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Season 3
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Episode 10
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43:04
TSSH 42 - Dis-ease + Unmet Needs = Theraplease 🙏
Definition of dis-ease - a particular quality, habit, or disposition regarded as adversely affecting a person or group of people.Early experiences of stress and trauma require soothing by caring, consistent parental figures. When...
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Season 3
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Episode 9
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47:51