The Stuck Stops Here
I am on a healing journey, breaking cycles of toxic family patterns of mental, verbal, and emotional abuse that have plagued my family for generations. My children deserved better than what I got so I embarked on a path of healing, addressing the internal pain caused by the rage, fear, guilt, shame, rejection, manipulation, and neglect that I was raised with. This quest for authenticity and peace is an endless journey of discovery and recovery with no finish line. I hope my story, truth, humor and mistakes inspire others and that is why I am sharing my story.
Tammy Sue
The Stuck Stops Here
TSSH 52 - Counter-dependency (Radical Self Reliance)🤐🤫
Codependency, the habit of gaining your self worth from pleasing others, is something most people know of nowadays. But it’s lesser known opposite, called counterdependency, can be just as much of a problem and is often related to codependency. Those who suffer counterdependency have a dread of ever depending on or needing anyone, at heart of which is an inability to trust. If there was a mantra that all counterdependents have, it would probably be “I don’t need anyone.” It can cause intense (if often well hidden) feelings of loneliness. This can often spiral into depression and anxiety. If it isn’t the loneliness that causes severe low moods, it’s often the hidden low self-esteem that counterdependents suffer from, which is one of the leading pathways to major depressive episodes. I appeared strong, secure, hardworking, and successful on the outside. On the inside, I was ashamed, insecure, and fearful. Counterdependents may function well in the world of business, but are often insecure in the world of relationships. Frequently they have poor social and emotional skills, are afraid to get close to others, and avoid intimate situations as much as possible. They also create a lot of defenses to prevent anyone from seeing their secret weaknesses, neediness and vulnerability. I put on a good front to prove that I was okay and do not need anything from anyone. These defensive tactics create feelings of loneliness, alienation, and a sense of “quiet desperation.”
https://weinholds.org/the-flight-from-intimacy-healing-counter-dependency/
