The Stuck Stops Here
I am on a healing journey, breaking cycles of toxic family patterns of mental, verbal, and emotional abuse that have plagued my family for generations. My children deserved better than what I got so I embarked on a path of healing, addressing the internal pain caused by the rage, fear, guilt, shame, rejection, manipulation, and neglect that I was raised with. This quest for authenticity and peace is an endless journey of discovery and recovery with no finish line. I hope my story, truth, humor and mistakes inspire others and that is why I am sharing my story.
Tammy Sue
The Stuck Stops Here
TSSH 62 - 3 Miserable Musts and 8 Destructive Beliefs (Dr. Albert Ellis)
Albert Ellis, who is considered the 2nd most influential psychotherapist in history died in 2007 and believed psychological problems are due to pervasive patterns of irrational thought. It is not events that create emotional states, but the way we interpret them. Chronic unhappiness is not caused directly by adversity but by us, it is our irrational beliefs and thoughts that cause suffering. He said “There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy”. These 3 musts are illogical, they distort reality, prevents us from achieving goals, lead to self-sabotaging behavior and makes us miserable. Life is not fair, and things don’t go as planned. We cannot control everything all the time. Albert Ellis explained the emotionally mature individual should completely accept the fact that we live in an unpredictable world and there will never be any absolute certainties. The emotionally intelligent person knows that it is not always horrible when things don’t go as planned. If we choose to stay addicted to certainty, our perception of and reaction to life experiences will be self-defeating and counterproductive.
http://www.albertellis.info/
